I know I said I was going to stay away this week, what with all of the training I’m supposed to be doing, but something happened this week that I needed to rant about and you guys get to benefit from my ravings.

Ok, so…at certain times during a woman’s monthly cycle (no, not at that time) a woman’s body can become extra sensitive. That happens to me when I ovulate. Not only do I get sharp cramp like pains, the twins also become VERY sensitive. Meaning…don’t touch them. At. All. So, what does Mr. Celia do upon hearing that the twins hurt a lot….he touches them, often. To help describe my level of pain, let me tell you a few things:

1) Wearing a bra hurts! BAD! It hurts to put it on and once on, I’m ok. Taking it off…that’s another tear filled story.
2) Taking my normal steaming hot shower brings me to tears. Why? It’s not from the temperature. The spray hits the pointy parts of the twins and almost brings me to my knees. Mr. Celia has found me teary eyed after my shower and has always checked with me to see if there was anything he could do. My answer is always: Yes, don’t touch me.

So, Mr. Celia KNOWS how painful it is and what does he do when he passes by me???? He cops a feel. What part of it hurts does he not get? And when I look at him pointedly and yell “ow”, he’s all “Oh, that hurts? Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

Next time he forgets….I’m gonna forget that certain parts of his anatomy don’t like teeth. Grrrr…..

Ok, rant over…for now.

I hope everyone’s week went well!!!

Celia

Yes, folks, it’s true. My job actually wants me to *shudder* work. LOL Real life has reared its ugly head with the hire of a new associate. And guess who gets to train all new associates? You guessed it….Me. So, for at least the next week I’ll be in training hell. Pray for me.

I’ll still be posting additions to Saturday Night Sin during this time, but regular updates and piccys of hot nekkid men will be few and far between. Sorry! Hope everyone has a wonderful week and I’m crossing my fingers that next week will work out to be a little slower for me.

Celia

Two things to talk about today.

1) I suck b/c I left my thumb drive (its name is Pony) at home. Do you know how much that sucks? How can I goof at work without all the files I need to goof with? Damn. I can’t.

2) I’ve got emoticons on my bloggggggg!!!!!! B-)

Ok, I’m typing this and the piccy for the emoticon didn’t come up. Let’s hope it works when I post this message. If not….I guess I’m not cool.

Celia

PS. I AM the Mistress of Blogger!!!!!!! Ooh! I like the sound of that. I need to go out and get a leather corset and a whip. With thigh high boots. *shiver* That sounds so hot!

Don’t you love it when your muse comes for an extended visit? I do! My husband doesn’t, but who cares about him. So, I managed to make it through proofing Good Woman and I’ve still got tons of POV work to do on it. (I know, I know, I complain about that every week, but I do have tons of work still.) I tried to just trash it, but Shara won’t let me. *pout* Well that and I’ve already got 35k on Good Dom done. And Good Dom doesn’t make a bit of sense without Good Woman, so I guess it stays. It won’t be the first piece I get published, but it stays.

What probably will be the first to be submitted and hopefully published you ask? Wicked Shift… It didn’t start out as a shifter story, but it ended that way and I love it. We’ve got an older (read: not twenty-something) heroine who’s a bit fluffy. She meets a yummy Greek god in the making who just happens to be a shifter. Love and fucking like bunnies, er, jaguars ensues. LOL It’s another one of those ‘I wrote it in a week’ stories, but thank God POV isn’t an issue. I just have to figure out if I’m happy with the ending, tweak my grammar, and send it off to my CP. My CP? I didn’t tell you about that? *happy dance* Shara Cooper is my new CP. I officially have a CP! (Yeah, I know. Call me a dork and give me a beanie.)

Happy writing and have a fanwonderous day!!!

Celia

PS. Here’s a half naked man for the ladies! Doesn’t he just have a squeezable tush?!

He could use an extra hand….

Oh, Hunny! You’re gonna burn, let me rub some lotion on for ya…

Have a great Friday all!!!!

Celia

For Nic who doesn’t feel good….

Now for the YML….

Hope you enjoyed!!!

Celia

So, it seems a new alter ego has popped up. Tasha (now Amy) calls them split personalities, but I prefer alter ego. Anyway, while posting and chatting on various loops I saw that there was an overabudance of people laughing their asses off. LMAO. Now, normally that wouldn’t be a problem, but Jay over on Marilyn’s loop kept posting LMAO repeatedly and I became worried for her. I mean, if you keep laughing your ass off, you’re not gonna be left with much ass when your done. Which prompted Dr. Mcfuxalot to post her ass regrowth instructions:

Attention Ladies! Listed below are the instructions to be followed when regrowing your ass. These instructions should only be followed by thosesuffering LMAOitis. Those individuals suffering from LMBOitis, LMBWOitis, LMWOitis, or LMTTOitis, instructions will be forthcoming.

1. Cease all laughter. It is essential that all laughter end immediately prior to beginning this program.

2. Consume large quantities of alcoholic beverages or inhibition reducing drugs.

3. Purchase or obtain an item similar to the body bouncer. (www.bodybouncer.com) Note: This item should be purchased in the event that you currently have a significant other of fuck buddy. In the event that you are without a significant other or fuck buddy, please purchase an item from fuckingmachines ( www.fuckingmachines.com) or love machines (www.lovemachines.com)

4. Utilize body bouncer, fucking machine, or love machine to give you the glorious big “O” numerous times. Scientific study has proven that during the big “O” awoman’s body releases hormones into the body which assist in the regrowth of”the ass”. While release of said hormonse will not cause the ass to grow any larger than its original size it will assist in regrowth. For seriouscases of LMAOitis steps 1-4 should be repeated until the sufferer is borderline catatonic.

Now in addition to her ass regrowth regimen, Dr. Mcfuxalot also came up with a new body toning system. It allows the women of the world to carve themselves into the hot momma’s they want to be in order to lure and catch the man they wanna call papi. In the event that you need to slim down in the rear you can continue to LMAO, however in the event that there are other areas that need slimming you can LMBO, LMTTO, LMWO, or LMBWO. Remember not to laugh too much off because Dr. Mcfuxalot has not yet perfected all regrowth regimens.

Abbreviation Definitions:
LMAO – Laughing my ass off-For the ladies with too much junk in the trunk
LMBO – Laughing my boobs off-For the ladies that get black eyes when theyrun (ouch!)
LMTTO – Laughing my Thunder Thighs off-Cause face it, when they rub together in the middle of summer, it ain’t funLMHO – Laughing my Hips off-Does anybody else have a hard time riding rollercoasters cause their ass it too wide? I do.
LMWO – Laughing my Waist off-Cause sometimes you’d like a teeny tiny waist to go with the rest of your bodacious bod
LMBWO – Laughing my Bat Winds off-Bat Wings? Yeah, when you hold your armsout to the side and move em back and forth and the fat at the back of yourarms flaps like wings….you’ve got bat wings.

Sincerely,

Dr. Mcfuxalot and Ce

Do you see it? Look a little further up the screen and you can’t miss it. What is it? My blog banner of course! A great big neaner to blogger cause I figured out how to get the darn thing up there instead of the standard words. *happy dance, happy dance*

Oh, and here’s a fun pic just for stopping by. I’d like to take a bite out of that man’s tush, wouldn’t you?

Celia

So, I’ve heard from one author, TA Chase, and he was happy with the article. Yay! Haven’t heard from any of the others though so they’re either reserving judgement until part two comes out or they hate it. I’m going with they’re waiting. Not much writing done over the last day or two, but I’ve found that I work better on the weekends anyway. I’m up to part nine of Saturday Night Sin (free blog story starting this weekend) and I’ve got 29k on Good Dom. I also managed to get through three chapters of Good Woman. *sigh* I hate POV. Have I mentioned that lately?

If I wanna be in three different characters’ heads in one paragraph why can’t I? Oh, that’s right, it’s confusing…. *insert whiny voice here* It’s not confusing to meeeeeeee!!!!! Ok, whining over with for the moment. I’ll get there. I’m sure I will. Paz and Shara won’t let me stop and both of those ladies can be mean when provoked so I don’t have much choice in the matter. Plus, if I don’t rewrite and get published, what am I gonna do with my cool website? Ooh! I could turn it into a porn site! No? Fine *grumble* I’ll fix the POV and get the darned thing published, but I really think there’s more money in porn without the plot. LOL

Have a great day all!

Celia

PS. Don’t you like my piccy, he seems so sad, I should go comfort him….

So, the article came out yesterday. Did you read it? What did ya think? I suck, right?

I’m currently wavering between ‘God, Celia you suck! How could you think of doing something like this?!’ and ‘Maybe it wasn’t so bad.’ Regardless of my opinion, part 2 is coming out in two weeks and I need to get over it. *sigh* I’ll get over it…tomorrow maybe. I’m in hiding today, just on the off chance the authors that participated in the article hated it. I don’t think they will, but not everyone appreciates my humor and take on things. I’m frequently called ’special’, but I prefer quirky.

On to other equally depressing matters. Remember how I told you all that I’d finished my first book, Love of a Good Woman? Yeah, well its unfinished now. Jan recommended I go back through it before she and Shara tore it apart and try to fix some of my blatant mistakes. So, off I go back into the book, electronic highlighter in hand, looking for changes in POV. Oh. My. Gawd. There are places where I literally changed POV four times in ONE paragraph. *shudder* Poor dears, I feel bad that they even tried to read it, let alone proof it. I’m going through each chapter highlighting POV changes and then going through it again to get rid of the other character’s thoughts and whatnot. I think this is really the source of my pity party today. Reading back through the damn thing and seeing all of the mistakes I made makes me think ‘Damn! You suck!’

But it’s part of writing, right? Right? Well, you’ll get a chance to read my writing and tell me yourself if you think I suck. I’m going to start posting my free story over at my Sinful Little Secrets Blog this weekend. Don’t forget to sign up via the Feedblitz box on that blog to have my entries delivered to your inbox. If you love it, drop a comment. If I suck, please don’t embarass me publicly, send me an email. LOL ‘You suck!’ is much easier to take via email people. I’ll post the blurb for you all in the next few days so that you know what you’re in for.

I am kinda excited about the story. It’s going to be a short posted in approx. 1k blocks each Saturday. Everything I’ve written so far has been a lot longer in comparison so it’ll be interesting to see how this pans out and what you think of it.

Have a great Monday everyone!

Celia

PS. Blogger hates me today too. I’ll try and come back to post my piccy later.