Note before you begin reading: Blogger sucks and won’t let me upload the yummy pic of the day. *pout*
Now for those reader’s in England…you know what that sentence means (or variations of that sentence), but to those of us in the US…that is one scary thing to hear as a writer. Let me explain:
The Players:
Tasha – Friend and fellow aspiring writer, We’re working on To My Darling One together
Shara Cooper (Take a look at her blog, link to the right)- Friend, fellow aspiring writer, proofer & editor for uber popular erotic romance authors (Like U-B-E-R)
Ok, so I started what I call ‘this writing thing’ on 8/5/06. How do I know I started then? Because that’s when Tasha sent me what she had for Darling One and asked me to add what I could and then send it back. So, we did that for a couple of weeks. The word count rose and then we decided that we should send it to our friend Shara to look over and let us know if we were doing ok. And off it goes…this is the morning of 8/17/06.
La di da…I’m worried of course because I’ve NEVER written before and I have no clue if I suck. (Like NEVER EVER) Not to mention that what we sent her included my first attempts at literary sex. (I’ve heard from others…I’m good!) Ha! So that afternoon I’m chatting online while at work. (I know…Bad Celia Bad!) And I discover that I’ve won a book on Eve Vaughn’s loop. Yay! (Won 4Saken, yummy book, go buy it.) Now, I know that Tasha chat’s with Eve and since I’m new to the scene and I never win anything I begin to wonder if Tasha asked Eve to let me win. (Yeah, as if! But sometimes I’m an idiot with idiot ideas.) So, being the kind of person I am, I hop back into chat to ask her:
Me: Tasha did you tell Eve to let me win the book?
Tasha: No…hold on…oh, Shara’s said you’ve lost the plot…
And that’s when I have to jump off the compu and do real work. I have to do real work when my co-author tells me that the woman reviewing our work says that I’ve lost the plot. I was freaked! 30 minutes later I hop in the car and curse as I scroll through my address book on my cell looking for Tasha’s name. (Couldn’t her mother have named her something like Amy so she’d be at the top of my list? That’s it…Tasha your name is now Amy so that I can find you easier.) Anyway. I find her number, press send and wait….
Tasha: Hello?
Me(I’m yelling, loud): What do you mean I’ve lost the plot?! There’s only three chapters and the third is all sex! There isn’t any real plot in sex…it’s…sex dammit! Sex in the club, sex in the cab and sex in the hotel! We haven’t even really developed a plot! I’m not even sure what a damn plot is let alone if we had one! How can I lose something I probably never had in the first place? What is she talking about? That’s it, no more editing for her!
Tasha: Celia?
Me: How did I lose the plot that damn quick? I told you I suck at this. I know I said that ‘you suck’ is easier to take in an email, but I lied. ‘You suck’ sounds bad on the phone and in an email. I told you writing reviews is a lot different than writing books. How could I lose it?
Tasha: Hold on.
So, I sit there and hold as she futzes with the phone until suddenly there’s a british voice on the phone. Tasha had called Shara three way so that she could join in the fun. I had never talked to her before, but that didn’t stop me from raving like a lunatic at her from the get go. So I repeated EVERYTHING that I had yelled to Tasha without any first time pleasantries such as ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello’ and do you know what they did then?
They laughed, hard, for a very very long time. Apparently Tasha was supposed to tell me that I’d lost my plot not the plot. Meaning, I had lost my ever loving mind if I thought that Eve had rigged some contest because Tasha had asked her to.
Well if I hadn’t lost my mind before, it was definitely at risk that afternoon. So my new favorite thing to say to Shara?
“Have a great day hon and try not to lose your plot.” And then I laugh very, very hard.
Celia